Tuesday, May 30, 2006 @ 4:27 PM
Im done with werk. I was so damn bz juz now tat i even sacrificed my own personal lunch time juz to settle my boss' meeting. N so, im a hungry & angry bitch now! Hmmph!
I always listen to Class 95 while at werk. I enjoy simple sweet music played at tat station. So far, my best choice of music. Then suddenly, there's tis song by Mariah Carey, Hero.
I miss my hero. i do.
its been almost 6 years now. i have never forgotten even a bit of him.
things would be so much different if he is still alive, now.
my dad passed away peacefully on 2nd November 2000. he was 50 at tat time.
it was a week before the fasting month, he was out praying at the mosque.
he passed out soon after his mahgrib prayers, in the mosque itself. *sob*
i remembered picking up the phone call from my aunty who were with him at tat point of time. She told me my dad had fainted and had an asthma attack. those attacks were common, he always walked in n out of the hospital due to tat. n so, i thought it was nothin.
Reaching the hospital, we were told to wait at a designated waiting area.
N so we waited.
Then came the docter, with a clear plastic bag, my dad's personal belongings were in there.
my heart sank. my dad left me.
i cried and wailed in the presence of soo many relatives. i shouldn't have done tat. shouldn't.
i should have prayed and be calm instead. but i was young. i was naive. i was sad. very sad.
the first person i called at tat time, my then best fren, Mazni. i cried on the phone with her.
i couldn't believe it. i was shocked. it caught me empty handed. i was so not prepared. my first thought was my little sister, Trisya. she was too young at tat point of time to accept all tis. much more, she still needs her fatherly love.
Both me & Trisya carried on with life. i am soo sorry having to watch Trisya growing up without a father. but im proud of her, she's grown up to be a bright beautiful young lady. It must have been hard on her all tis while, she never let my mum worry much, may it be conerning her studies nor her behaviour. im impressed. : )
6 years may have passed. He's still alive in my heart. very much clear in my mind and thoughts. i miss him. of course, i do. the only thing i can do now, pray to Allah to bless his soul always.
If my dad is alive, now, at tis very moment, im sure my life wouldn't have been tis way. i would be much better protected. i believe tat for sure, he will stand by me now, at tis very hour, fighting for me. But yet again, he did not live long enuff to be able to c me or Trisya , growing up, from girls to ladies.
Growing up without a dad, was not easy. i had a rough time. crying and hoping i had a father tat could hold my hand, pick me up and make me walk up right once more. i was used to having him doing almost everythin for me.
in a blink of an eye. i lost him.
mummy have been great. magnificent in fact.
a woman with a brave front. still on her feet, waking up at 3 am every single morning juz to carry on working for the family. N till tis very day. she have not re- marry.
i am blessed. even without dad, my family still stands united as one.
For sure, i believe, he's up there, watching over me, mummy & trisya.
we miss you dad.
we realli do.
