I was crying my hearts out when i broke my fast just now.

Mummy was right beside me making sure i finish up my plate of
food and kept calming me down.

My whole family just sat there, stunned.

Out of the blue, after hearing the ' azan ', i felt so tearful.

I started to think of all those i lost and how they will be spending their Ramadhan tis year.

For almost an hour, i was eating and weeping thru my food.

It was soo hard to swallow the food down my throat, i have to force it real hard.

I only ate half my food and went to take a shower just to ease my tension.

So many people came thru my mind suddenly.

May allah bless them with strength & courage.

I may not be part of their lives anymore but dear allah, please bless them with never ending happiness and give them strength to carry on once more.

N i hope , i will not have to cry while breaking fast the next time round.

Gosh its soo hard !!

Ya Allah,

Please give me strength.