Today marks the end of Ramadhan.
How time flies.
30 days flew just like tat.
I didn't expect soo many things to change in such a short time.
Wat more knowing i lost somethin so precious in my life.
I have always thought tat we would be celebrating Syawal together since we missed it the last year.
But i guess, Allah did not grant my wish tis time.
Therefore, i have to live with wat im left with.
At least i noe, my family and some other people are still here for me no matter wat.
But for sure, Hari Raya will never be the same again for me.
I am at werk now. My company issued a half day for all Muslim staffs and i will be on leave the whole week. I wanna take a good rest at home and mayb enjoy the company of the relatives during the festive week. I need to let go and just not think abt him anymore.
Each time when nite falls, i wish i could turn back time and prayed tat things would be better.
Then i remembered the sms'es, the calls, the decision, the tears, the sufferings and finally the end to everything.
How heartbreaking it was for me.
I never wanna to go thru tat path ever!
It hurts. Trust me it realli does.
Must be due to my Mum's prayers tat God sumhow heal some of my sorrows away.
Slowly, i learn to cope with the loss.
I just wish for the best.
Mayb im just not the one for him, he deserved someone better.
I believe so.
N altho it hurts having to say this, i wish he would be happy with his new life.
A fren asked me, " do u ever think u can move on babe?? "
Yes. Insyallah, time will heal the wounds away.
But i will never love again for now.
I am soo not prepared.
Like i say, i dun believe in tat word anymore.
It kills. Kills every bit of me.
Things happen for a reason.
I am not regretting watever decision tat i had made in life.
I face my own consequences.
But im praying hard, this Hari Raya will help bring my faith back.
To all Muslim friends, bloggers, foes and everyone out there,
Have a blissful Syawal everyone.
God Bless.
