Frens asked me whether im over everythin tat had happened.

I'll be lying to not only my frens, but i will also be lying to myself if i said im all over it.

Things were not easy for me.

But i live every single day hoping tat i could at least put up a brave front and of course, have faith.

How can i easily forget those tears and heartbreaks tat easily.

I wish i could, but i can't.

I am not able to totally leave my past as yet.

True enuff, as the days goes by, i became much a stronger person.

Thanks to my family & frens for making me stay in one piece still.

I would long been gone if its not bcos of them.

When he walked away tat very day, the whole world just crashed on me.

I feel tat there is nothin else to live for.

How can i ever be tat selfish rite?

How can it just slipped my mind tat i still have Mummy & Trisya at least.

How can i forget tat i have Mak & Abah who picked me up every time i fall till tis very day.

How can i not remember Emily who's been a fren thru out everythin and always lending me her shoulder to cry on.

How can i ever forget all tat.

N while i was in deep depression, i tot i just wanna end life cos as my dreams and hopes are all shattered, wats the use of holding on. *subahanallah*

How can i ever think of ending life in the first place?

Where have all my faith gone to?

How can i ever forget Allah at tat point of time?? *regrets*

As i think back of every single thing i went thru, i felt blessed.

I was thankful it happened now than later.

Of course, i was terribly and badly hurt.

I continued hoping even though i noe, its impossible for things to get back on track again.

Bcos the love was so strong, my heart just couldn't let go.

Till tat very day, while we were exchanging sms'es and i noticed the changes in him.

I realised, its finally over.

For the first time in 6 years, i had a feeling i never once had before.

I felt the love fading away from him.

I felt the presence of someone else. Mayb there's another party in his life.

Or mayb im just being paranoid or overly sensitive?

But then again,

Y should i stop him from achieving happiness rite?

Love is to sacrfice isn't it?

If he's happy with wat he had planned in his life, i wish him the best of luck.

To see him happy is all i need.

No more, no less.

Cos when u love someone, their happiness is urs.

Im begining to accept life as it is.

I remembered during one of the exchanged smse's we shared, i claim tat it wouldn't be easy for us to watch each other walking with a different person in each other's arms.

Well, to be very honest, it wouldnt be easy even for now.

So i pray to Allah every single day, i wish i would never have to bump into him being with sumone else.

I bless him with all the happiness he deserve in life BUT with Allah's grace, spare me from another heartbreak.

Life is in fact getting better, i am slowly picking up the pieces and alhamdulillah putting everythin behind me.

But my heart is still very much shattered but i believe time will heal all the pain away.

A new found fren Shasha told me tis, " Allah took somethin precious away from us so tat HE could replace it with somethin even better "

How can i not agree?

But ALLah took away somethin too precious in my life tat i wonder wat else would be more costly than tat.

For me to love again will definitely take a long long time.

I am so not prepared for any commitments or wat not.

Im happy being with my gal pals and my family.

Mayb its just fated tat im a failure in love.

But Allah have reasons for everythin tat happened.

Some people are gloating upon my misery.

Some claimed its retribution, an eye for an eye.

Well, i beg to differ.

Let the Mighty one decide wats best for me.

I soo believe tat insyallah, my heart will be in one piece again.

But again, my memories will never be taken away despite anythin or everythin.

Cos altho i suffered like no one could have ever imagined.

He's the best i ever shared my life with.

N Im thankful, i found love in frens instead.

Last nite when i met up with emily for dinner, the sweet gerl gave me a card.

Despite being sick, she was realli sweet to give me tat card just to let me noe tat no matter wat happen, she will always be here for me.

Im grateful, thru writing this blog, i get to noe lots of new people in my life who sumhow became my frens.

Thanks ladies for always being there and sharing my grief.

No worries, im fine for now.

Like i say, my life is practically better as the days goes by.

But getting over him, will take a much longer time.

Insyallah, time will tell it all.

Have a great day ahead peepz!

Im gonna sign up for my yoga class today!

De-stress baby!