Recently, i managed to speak to someone who realli helped me clear my mind.

I haven't spoken to him for a long time, it was simply refreshing after getting such BLUNT advices from him.

He is 5 years my senior, he's my ex bf.

We have not meet or chat for the longest time.

It was a coincidence tat he wanted to convey a message from his mum to me and therefore, he had to call me.

His mum is going for Haj this December and wanted soo much to meet me & Trisya before she leaves.

The phonecall was supposed to be a short one.

But it dragged the whole nite. N i cried over the phone countless time while talking to him.

I told him everythin abt the life i went thru, abt the man i love tat walk away from me, abt how miserable life have been and the depression i went thru.

He said he knew, it just tat he wouldn't dare ask.

He said he heard abt it but he was just waiting for the right time to call me up and perhaps talk abt it.

We were afterall, family.

Yeah, my ex bf is my distant cousin.

I was super close with his family back then till the day we both went separate ways.

N tat was 6 years ago.

N it was only a few days ago, me & him started talking again.

Being him, i knew very well he will ' brainwash ' me with words tat i would dread to hear.

He says im fickle, naive,indecisive and tempremental.

He say i have to change in order for me to stay put in a relationship.

Yet he say, he's sorry i have to go thru soo much.

N by the way, he knew exactly who the guy tat walk away from my life.

Cos 6 years ago, when we both call it quits, i met *him*.

So the ex told me tat i should not let myself suffer more and learn to accept fate as it is.

He said i have to stay strong for the family and Trisya.

If love is supposed to hurt then i have to accept and deal with it.

Such frankful advise from him was realli an eye opener.

And when i teared so much over the phone, he passed it to my uncle to calm me down.

But wat my uncle said just tore me apart.

I miss them soo very much.

N despite being away from them for soo long, it was realli kind of them to call me up and gave me so much encouragement in order for me to move on once more.

I promised to meet the family up before my aunt leaves for Haj.

But one thing for sure, i noe im still not over everythin tat
had happened.

Cos each time i think or talk abt it, my hearty just breaks into pieces.

I wonder when it will be the time tat i can just totally get over it and smile while talking abt it.

Nearly 2 months now, im still feeling the pinch.

On the 2nd January coming next year, it marks another day tat definitely i cry my hearts out.

Suddenly i hate the number 2.

My dad passed away on the 2nd, the first meet up me & him had was also on the 2nd.

So its coming 6 years now. For both my dad and also the first time we both went on a date.

I wonder how many more years down the road i have to ever hate the number 2.

But yet again, y hate when the heart still love.

Tats wat the ex told me last nite when he kol me up to check on me.

Knowing i was not in the best mood, he and his brothers kol me up and cheekily disturbed me over the phone.

I was at home the whole Sunday cos i was sick, yet again.

Down with a terrible flu and a bad headache, i stay in bed the whole day yesterday.

I was even supposed to meet up with emily but sorry babe, i was too sick to go out.

Im taking half day at werk today. I had to come this morning cos i have to prepare last minute documents for my boss as he had an early meeting.

N he excused me from werk after it was all settled.

So im heading to the doctor and heading home soon.

Wish me well peepz, i hate getting sick everytime. *sobs*

P.S : Trisya is super stressed up now cos im officially 6kg lighter than her! Takpe k dek, mayb you can join me for yoga soon to lose off tat wight off u. heh.