Yesterday was the worst ever!!
My cramps was soo bad, i slept the moment i reached home from werk!
I didnt answer phonecalls nor reply sms'es.
Some had to go thru Trisya just to find out how im doing.
I dun noe wats wrong with me. How come i can get so sick like tis? Damn it!
Its been long since i had dinner outside or even meet up with frens.
Realli miss doing all tat.
N i can't be doing all tat if i dun get any better rite! I'll be too weak to even eat my meal!
Health aside, im waiting for my IT Department to come and help me change my passwords.
Yeah, all my passwords at werk reminds me of him everyday.
So in order not to make me dwell over it, i've been bugging the guys to help me out to reset the whole password thingy.
I have 4 system passwords to be reset. All of them, his name. Duh.
Tis time round, when i changed my password, no more names of people i love! So if i fall out of love ever again, there's no hassle of changing passwords again. Heh.
There are a lot of things in life tat u have to sacrifice if u decide to move on.
I have decided to let go of so many things in my mind. Most importantly, i quit hoping.
Of course, its never easy. But rather than i keep hurting myself over and over again, i would rather look forward and accept my fate.
Mummy told me tat our lifes are all pre-written by Allah.
When we die, who we marry etc are all pre-written. We just have to live thru life and thank Allah for giving us a chance to at least see the world.
Mayb its just fated, tat im supposed to go thru life this way.
Well, im not complaining. Im in fact blessed and thankful.
I went thru so much in life and it have been a learning experience for me.
I lost people along the way. People i love and i trust.
But if its fated tat they are happier waith wat life have to offer them now, i wish them everlasting happiness.
As for me, let be very honest here.
I sumhow feel tat i hoped too much back then.
Remember i used to blog abt having a home, my own baby gerl and get married??
I dun see it coming anytime soon. Not for now.
At 24 now, i feel tat its way to early to plan for all tis as yet.
Y??
I haven't meet the one as yet.
Well if u were to ask me back then, i would say a totally different story.
But not now.
2 months have passed by and im more convinced tat there's nothin more i shld hope or look forward for.
N remember when i mentioned tat i'm gonna quit blogging??
N i have a specific date for tat.
Im just gonna enjoy blogging till the time come, 2nd January 2007.
Tats when i will totally quit writing abt myself and my life.
Its gonna be a new year in 5 weeks time.
Of course, i have my new year resolution all planned out early.
Besides werk, i am going back to school.
I have my yoga class, signing for aerobics next week and Emily asked me tagged her along in Salsa class.
So i see myself pretty occupied next year.
Men aside, i am honestly not interested in dates or anythin associated with relationships.
Cos i noe, my heart can only love one.
On a brighter note, altho im still feeling shitty sick, i dun wanna miss a chance to meet a fren today for dinner and coffee.
Its time to get out of the house and breathe some fresh air.
Till then , i have tons of werk to do while waiting for my IT guy to come change my passwords.
Have a nice Thursday everyone.
