It was home rite after werk yesterday.
I didnt realli feel good and kinda weak.
I slept thru the evening and got up at 10pm, showered, went down to the nearby clinic and have late dinner with trisya.
As we were both walking home late last nite from dinner,Trisya told me somethin tat broke my heart into tiny little pieces.
I was of course shocked and hurt.
It was kinda an awful remark slammed on me.
So i told myself, i just have to accept it and let it go by.
Altho it still hurts me bad just thinking abt it, i hope time
will heal all tat away insyallah.
So i finally received an email from Nurul.
Reading her mail tore me apart.
Its just like reading abt myself, wat i went thru.
Therefore, i realli hope i could help her in any way i can.
But having gone thru tis before,
I jolly well understand the hell she is going thru.
Knowing tat u cant be with the person u love, its definitely
something u have to live up with every single day.
So it all abt accepting the fact and facing life as it is.
Its better knowing the truth than having to suffer much later in time.
Y hold on to something which will never be ours??
Altho the heart still clings, but i guess we are prone to make sacrfices.
In life, u have to lose somethin in order to gain somethin else.
I sacrifice people tat i love in order not to get myself hurt anymore.
N oh yeah, its a huge sacrifice.
Some may think im soo over it.
I decided to just live with wat i have and accept wat im left with.
Love is a big word isn't it.
But it kills big time as well.
As much as i want to be in love all over again, i would rather be alone than having to mend a broken heart each and everytime.
I am not good in handling relationships.
Neither am i a good companion.
Therefore, i think its better i remain tis way.
I never have the urge to go and start dating again.
At my age, many women are already busy preparing their marriages.
For me to start dating from scratch.
I rather give tat a miss.
I have no slightest interest in getting to noe men or be in any relationship for now.
Cos i had a hard time picking myself up the last time.
I never wanna take the risk of getting hurt once more.
Tis time, im not gonna go look for love, let love come to me instead.
I hope tis time, it will last till eternity.*smiles*
Yesterday alone, i received 5 mails regards to my latest entry.
Some with words of inspiration, some with their real life testimonials.
I promise i will reply to your mails at the soonest aite!
Thank u very much for the kind effort.
I appreciate it very much.
To Nurul, its been a pleasure knowing u.
Dun wori babe, u r not alone.
N trust me,only time will heal all the wounds away.
Salam'
