DEVASTATED.

Tats wat im feeling now.

Y must things be so hard?

Y must i have to endure all this over and over again?

Y must i continue putting hope when i jolly well noe tat it will lead me nowhere?

Y must i be so plain stupid to pour out my most personal thoughts on him and let all other 5oo odd of u all have a share in my life?

Y can some out of u all out there feel so much for wat i have written but not him?

Y ???

I kept asking myself over again and again.

Y didn't i just learn my lesson?

Y can't i just accept the fact tat he's not meant for me.

Y can't he even understand?

Is wat tat is written here too complicated to be understood?

I was suprised by the reponse of course.

I didnt noe it would be a negative one.

N again, i ended up feeling realli torn and tremendously hurt once more.

God !! Not again!!

Enuff is enuff tis time.

I give up.

Yes, i realli do this time.

Mark my word.

Its gonna be my very last entry on him.

I have given my all.

My most public confession ever.

I honestly wonder,

Y can't he just get it in and perhaps give it a little thought?

Am i asking too much here?

All im asking for is my happy ending.

N since he just dun get it and still blaming me for every single thing tat happen,

I have to just walk away tis time.

Yes,

Im going for good.

I seriously am.

Like i mentioned,

I devoted my life to you.

Now, im gonna be a real selfish bitch and move on with life.

Im gonna take time putting u out of my mind.

But if its gonna do us good,

Then i shall have no regrets.

Lets just move on and be happy for one another.

I am thankful tat at one point of my life,

I managed to spend my life with u.

So even how painful this heart is gonna be,

I have to let go.

Insyallah, time will heal all my wounds away.

N hopefully,

All those memories we shared will be kept close in this heart of mine.

The only thing now is to carry on living and hoping for the best.

I have great frens and family around.

Im sure they will help me get thru this difficult time in life.

I blame myself for everythin.

I shouldn't have put so much hope on u, or to be exact, on us.

I should have let go long long ago.

When my life was pretty ugly at one point of time.

Now when everythin in life is picking up,

I sumhow feel tat it would be complete having u here, beside me.

But i guess tat just a wish tat never will come true.

N yes, tis is the last time im gonna ever write abt u.

Its over.

I close the chapter of u in my life.

Cos im begining to accept the fact.

We can never be together.

I am gonna stand up tall once more.

I promise i will.

Alto its gonna take me a hell of a rough time mending my heart again.

I hope tis is gonna be the last time.

Dun wori,

I wont stoop any lower or ask for any more attention.

I had enuff.

Final.

Alhamdulillah, im getting a grip in life now.

Cos if it was me the last time round,

I guess i would have gone mad.

Allah have definitely put much faith in me now.

Syukur for tat.

I wish u nothing but the best in life.

No matter wat happen,

I appreciate the effort and the companionship all this while.

Having u in life was something i would never trade for.

But then again,

Some things are just not meant to be.

I will pray tat u will find someone better in life.

Someone who appreciates u more than i do.

Cos i havent been a good partner to u,

I realise tat.

So insyallah,

U will find some who will treat u well and love u unconditionally.

I hope for nothing but the best for u.

Its indeed been a great honour calling u my other half all this while.

No hard feelings, no grudges.

Life goes on.

I hope we both will.

Now we just have to live every day knowing tat we are over.

For good.

Shall not shed any tears tis time,

Cos i told myself,

Tis is the final straw, the final decision im gonna make in life.

I shall not turn back anymore.

Thanks you for sharing ur life with me.

Those sacrifices u make will be appreciated till the day i die.

I may have offended u in some way or another.

But u noe me well enuff,

I never meant wat i said.

All being said,

Was just to put across to u wat i realli feel.

But still,

It seem tat u didnt get the point.

So tats it.

Expect no more entries of my heartbreak anymore.

To those who tagged and emailed,

My greatest gratitude.

I am not embarassed to tell this to everyone out there,

My love life sucks.

Yes.

Sucks big time.

Nobody lives a perfect life rite?

Im just one of those unlucky ones.

But i will never blame fate.

I blame it on myself for being plain vulnerable.

For letting myself be a slave to love.

Its gonna be over today.

It will.

Im gonna meet my babes for dinner later.

N i noe,

Despite all tat happen,

They will be the ones,

Helping me get on with life once more.

Sorry, i dun need a man to make me feel at ease.

Mayb im a jinx when it comes to love.

But trust me,

I am bless with beautiful people around me who loves me for wat i am.

My family, my best fren, my mafias and my wonderful blogmates.

Thank u all for having faith in me.

I will be fine,

No worries.

N i promise u,

Tis is gonna be the last time im gonna pen my thoughts abt him.

No more.

Cos to me,

Its finally over.

Salam'