Life haven't been at its best.
But i definitely have no regrets.
Every single day, my inbox is filled with inspiring emails.
Only God noes how thankful i am.
I can never express how greateful i feel to those who took in effort to write me those very long email. *winkz to ladyblush*
I never though tat strangers out there could feel so much for me.
I read every single email and i can't help but feel so much to those who actualli spent their time writing to me detailing every bit of their life experiences.
They wish i could move on, be strong and look forward to a better life.
But yet, i received somethin very different late last nite.
I happen to browse thru the mail this morning and i cant help but feel realli emotional.
Yeah, ur email made me cry Miss Tini. *grinz*
She mentioned somethin tat stab me rite thru my heart.
" Saw ur latest entry. I believe many ppl muz hv told u to move on n ur Mr Rite will come when the right time arise. Personally to me i hold dearly is PATIENCE. As long as Allah continuously giving me the patience and my heart can still accept him despite wateva has happen I willl still continue to be with him. " "So my dear fren, ur not at a losing end after givin so much yet nothing u receive in return. At least at the end of the road u knw that u hv given and did ur best. Thus no regrets of u saying WHAT IF...IF I KNOW.... " Yes sweetheart,
A lot of people told me to move on and not look back.
I sumhow feel tat its time too.
I guess i have waited long enuff hoping for things to improve.
But in fact,
It seems to get worst every single day.
True enuff like u say,
I have no regrets for now.
I have given my best, as far as i know to make things a little bit better.
But in this situation im facing,
I guess its just not enuff.
Thank u very much for such honest views Tini.
I am indeed realli thankful for tat.
I am much much stronger than i was before.
Cos i noe,
There are people out there who are facing somthin worst than me.
If they can stand tall and face it,
Y can't i rite?
I have a great family and a set of fabulous gerls i can count on.
I am still lucky, in tat aspect tho.
The journey of my life have been a rough one.
But im begining to see life once more.
I realise tat i have to sacrifice something in order to gain something else.
I can't have the best of both worlds.
N indeed,
I have become a very selfish person.
No doubt abt it.
But being selfish doesnt mean i am free to hurt or offend anyone.
Being selfish on my side meaning i am accepting watever tat comes with a open mind and heart.
N i noe, my decision in life is gonna hurt some related parties close to me.
But i have no choice.
I have to decide and plan my future.
Honestly,
Its not i am desperate to get married.
Of course, i have always hope for a beautiful wedding.
But how can my wedding be perfect if the man i love is not the one rite beside me?
So for now,
Wedding plans will not in my future planning anymore.
I am letting Allah decide my fate and of course my life.
I think HE noes best.
Allah must have every reason to make me go thru all this in life.
He bless me with the most wonderful souls and put me thru a major test in life.
Syukur alhamdulillah,
Every single day,
I can feel tat i am a much stronger person than before.
N u noe wat,
I was smiling when i read a quote left by a sweet reader of mine, Ladyblush.
"..I'm truly looking forward to the day when your pic with a new man is taken & uploaded in your blog or friendster "
*smiles*
I dun noe babe when tats gonna happen.
Not anytime soon i guess. Heh.
Thanks love for such an inspiring mail.
Reali, i owe u one. ( coffee soon? )
p.s : Effa babe, thanks for the mail alrite! sorry i didnt reply to ur text the other day .. im doin fine and of course, we'll meet up soon ok !! i miss Arian loadss!!!
