I was crying my hearts out last nite.

Mummy told me something realli heartbreaking and left me with no choice.

Yes, i called up the EX.

I was so upset with things being said tat i decided to just call him up directly and clear the air once and for all.

Mummy was of course realli mad and upset with watever she heard from one party.

Me on the other hand, became a talking point.

After the whole conversation ended.

I just sat in bed and started crying.

Like when will all this misery end?

Its been years and all i hope for now is just some space for me to move on.

Why must people keep raking up my past and hurt me with it over and over again?

Why must the EX say harsh words tat hurt me and mummy bad?

N i believe no matter wat happen,

He used to be part of my life and i would NEVER pass any bad remarks abt him.

No way i'll ever do tat.

But he did it.

He hurt me again.

He's making my life miserable once more.

He's making me feel bad by raking up my past with him.

PLEASE.

Stop all this.

I am begging you.

You are not only hurting me,

You hurt my mum big time as well.

You heard wat my Mummy said last nite rite?

You heard how upset she was?

I have not bothered you since.

I am trying hard to move on.

So wats with this remarks and all??

All the sacrifices i made isn't good enuff till you have to humiliate me?

Sick and tired of me rite?

Tats wat you told someone who used to be part of my life as well.

Wat are you trying to prove?

Trying to tell him tat u dumped me?

Is tat it?

Well, let me tell you tis.

You win, i lose.

Damage done.

N i hope tis is gonna be the last.

Like wat i told you last nite before you hang up the phone,

I hope you are satisfied.

You wanted to noe the truth rite?

You got it.

Enuff is enuff tis time.

I have wasted enuff tears crying for you BOTH.

Sorry can bring back my pride and dignity?

Think abt it.

Yeah, you may have only asked one person abt me.

It doesn't take long for few other people to noe abt it.

Prove?

My mum got the news even before i did.

Hurtful?

Of course it is.

Esp when it comes from 2 men who play a major role in my life.

I dun noe wat else to say.

I guess i have to stay calm and be numb.

My problem seem to be never ending.

Allah tested me time and again.

I have to face it.

Do i have a choice?

Of course i do.

Its either i run away from it OR

I face it with watever strength im left with.

You think moving on is easy?

Mayb men take it way easier than us ladies.

I am one perferct example of a walking zombie.

Physically stable but emotionally damaged.

N i have nobody else to blame,

I blame it on myself for making myself be a slave to love.

For being stupid and brooding over something tat i noe i wont achieve.

But then,

Thank you very much,

I get to noe a lot thru my Kakak tis morning.

She told me things which tore me even more.

Im glad i found out the truth,

Cos i never knew all this while people have been talking abt me but yet claim he still loves me.

Contradicting?

I rest my case.

On another different note,

Someone very dear to me left tis morning.

She went away to pursue her dreams.

I took the morning off from werk just to see her off at the airport.

It was so heartbreaking.

We were hugging and crying endlessly.

I pray tat she will be safe out there.

I hope she will be a happier person in search of her dreams.

She's indeed someone realli special.

Someone who was there picking me up when i was torn at one point.

N now, she left.

Its like me losing my right arm.

N i noe,

Im gonna miss her very much.

Dear Anna,

I am soo gonna miss you very much.

Please take care my fren.

Its gonna be a long time till im gonna meet you again.

But forget us not here in Singapore.

Lili, Shikin, Reita and me will be waiting for you to come home.

Till then,

We are sure gonna miss you lots.

*sob*

Salam'