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So im back. Its been a long weekend for me. I was busy and sick. All in one. Tats the main reason why i sumhow just shut myself up and not retaliate much.
Yes, of course i'm aware of wats happening here in my blog. But as i away from office since early Friday morning, I was only informed of the chaos thru a blogger fren of mine who was kind enuff to sms me and update me abt it.
N i made a call to Reita and ask her to check up the blog for me as i have no access to the internet while i was out running errands. So, wat was all tis abt? I sumtimes wonder, Why issit there's issues over everything abt me? Firstly, it was my leg. Then my eye brows.
Then my aurat. Excuse me, am i being scrutinize here? N pls Miss Lydia, I do appreciate your 2 cents worth.
As fellow muslimah, You have every right to point out my flaws. But in another way or so,
Y humiliate me in public? Yes! I admit i shave my brows. So does everyone else. I have no intention watsoever to fool around with Allah's creation. I respect my religion. I respect those fully covered muslimah. Unlike myself, I am still in a learning process of being a better person in life. N do you think you are helping me here? No you dun. In fact, you pull me down even more. Our religion doesnt encourage humiliation nor dissing. Like wat a fellow tagger mentioned, Our religion taught us to teach in discreet. Isnt tat wat we fellow muslims are supposed to do? Help one another and be there for people who are in need. I am in need of moral support. Lots of them. I am thankful tho, As i kept quiet thru out the last 3 days, I saw people standing and speaking up for me. At a point where i nearly lost all the hope, I saw strangers out there wishing me well and saying nice words of comfort. I received a long list of emails wishing me well. I gained all the confidance and therefore here come tis entry. Yes people, I am not a fine and capable individual to start with. I have flaws. Lots of them. For watever shit i may have been thru in the past, I am now moving on to a better life. Those sufferings i went thru had taught me enuff. Enuff of all those tears and heartbreaks.
Enuff.
Cos i wouldnt wanna go thru all tat anymore. Try being in my shoes, Then you will understand why i wanted so much to bury my past and just look forward. I have been thru the worst of all. Must i repeat tat i went thru all those turmoil myself? Yes. All by myself. I even lost something very precious to me. N i will regret it for the rest of my life.
But y must i keep on blaming myself for wat i have went thru?? I learnt my lesson and i wanna move on. I learnt tat there are only a handful of people which are worth calling frens. I learnt tat it doesnt matter how long you are in a relationship,
Its abt how much respect you have for one another. I learnt tat in life, You are prone to have people who will tend to gloat over your misery. N i learnt tat ignorance is indeed a bliss. I bear no grudges no hatred towards anybody. But y arent you people sparing me some space and let me move again? Am i asking too much?? Am i seeking too much attention?? Or perhaps you find me too proud of myself?? I tried my very best to be humble.
Cos there's absolutely nothing abt me to be proud of. So wats the issue here? Y is the slightest thing like my eye brow is an issue between me and my god? Who are you to judge me in the first place?? Yes, this blog is public.N the tag board is a source of inspiration for me. I look forward to many warm wishes from frens, fellow bloggers and lovely strangers.
I dun entertain tags from people like you Lydia. I admit i am affected with th whole drama here. N im sorry if some readers who have their brows shaved felt the pinch as well. Cos for sure, Even tho my blog is public, I dun think its a spot for someone like you, haQ, to spread your thoughts. Im sure we as individuals who are born Muslims can identify our own doings. I still believe tat we are responsible for our own actions. Would you be there next to me when im dead and being question in my grave?? No you wont. I will be there alone facing my own music. So as much i appreciate your kind thoughts, Let me remind you tat my blog is not a spot for you to spread your teaching's knowledge. Its definitely not easy being me huh?
This is the only space i feel comfortable ranting it all out. Y can't people just respect tat.
Some are 'kind' enuff to leave remarks such as," i say this is retribution" Complete with a smiley face to end ths tag.Just how considerate can people be at times.For god sake,I am not forcing you haters to read this blog of mine.You choose to read,You feel the pich.You leave nasty remarks.N im supposed to face it alone? Is tat fair??
No its not.
But im grateful to those who stood up for me.I wouldn't have done it without you kind souls.In this world,There is no BAD people around.Its all abt how this people want their lifes to be.They make themselves.They plan their own lifes.I am begging you people out there.Spare me some space.Please do not question my faith in Allah.I noe where i am heading too.I accepted tat im a failure in love.But i will not admit defeat when it comes to my faith in Allah.Like i mentioned before. Try being in my shoes.
Try living and losing all the favourite people around you.Try waking up every morning and realise that you will never be with the man you love.Try coping and accepting tat your best frens will be your greatest enemy.Try living with all tat.Then you will noe why im trying so hard to move on.All im asking for is space.All im asking for is respect.Please give me space and respect my life.N please,Im begging you,Dun drag my love ones in the turmoil of my life.I have a handful of great frens i am still holding on to.N they are all im left with.I will never forget all those kind words from you strangers out there as well.Thanks for being there for me.Thanks for the trust and concern.Thanks for being a faithful reader.N to you Lydia,
Thanks for your so not needed advise.I now wat im doing.
I noe where to seek for advise.I dun need you or anybody like you to make my space an Islamic Forum.This is a diary of my life.This is meant for my frens and people who loves me.Sorry i dun tolerate hatred.N sorry i will NOT remove my tagboard.All being said,
I wish i do get my message across.Thank you very much all.Salam' p.s: entry and pics of my mother's day celebration will be up tomorrow loves!
