Its been ages since i last had a meal with Emily.

We had 2 solid hours dining together.

Catching up on a lot of stuffs.

That babe have been thru so much in life.

I wonder how she managed to stay focus all this while.

Its definitely not easy living without a mother.

She lost her mum, i lost my dad.

We always comfort each other by saying tat both our parent are safe up there,

With Allah.

Dinner at Magic Wok was filled with lots of story telling and updates.

I didnt realise tat so much things have been happening in our lives lately.

Its not easy having to cope with the loss we both are going thru.

Emily have always been there for me, during my darkest hour.

I will always remember and appreciate those moments we share,

Helping each other mend our broken hearts.

We have to live with the fact that to love is not to own.

We lost then men we love.

We lost the chance to live the remaining of our lives with the man of our dreams.

We have to accept the fact that they are better off being with someone else.

Emily and myself lost love.

But tat doesn't stop us from moving on once more.

It's a blessing that along the way,

I met many more wonderful people like Emily.

Indirectly, i became a better person due to the fact tat i noe,

There are a handful who still care.

A year ago,

I was still very confused on how my i would want my life to be.

I am not sure of the man i would wanna spend the rest of my life with.

Then i lost it.

That was a wake up call for me.

The misery went on for a couple of months.

I wasn't the Nadya others used to noe.

I was very broken and torn.

To cut it short,

I was aimless.

Nevertheless, i learn it the hard way.

Those tears and heartbreaks paid off.

Syukur alhamdulillah,

I seek comfort in the name of Allah.

I spent time in the mosque asking Allah to give me a shine of light in my very dark life.

My prayers was answered.

I saw things flashing right in front of my very eyes.

I saw truth.

I saw lots of hidden agendas.

I saw things being unveiled.

But one thing i regretted very much is losing something in me.

Something very precious i thought i would never have.

Till this day,

Tats my only regret.

Other than that,

I treat watever that happen in the past as a learning experience in life.

Like what i told Emily last nite,

Sometimes, we just have to ' switch off'.

To move on,

We have to be selfish at times.

As so that we wouldn't be hurt once again,

We have to be very careful and selective in watever things tat we wanna do.

There's a saying,

" God takes something precious from you as HE wanna replace it with something much better."

I can never agree less.

I have regrets in life.

But im living with it.

The fact tat Allah bless me with many wonderful souls now,

I can never be more thankful for tat.

Dun ask me why my heart is still not ready to love.

I simply have no idea.

I saw a perfect man standing right in front of me.

Yet, i am still very much in doubt.

No Mr B, there's abosultely nothing wrong with you.

You are a god send.

Its just me.

To commit in a relationship once more is a huge responsibility.

I am not ready to share my life.

Not yet.

But im praying hard i will be able to open up my heart to love once more.

People from my past have all moved on with new partners in their arms.

I am still taking time to heal.

Love hurts doesn't it?

But its definitely something meaningful we gotta learn.

Emily babe,

Have faith.

Insyallah, life will be better for you.

I have found the inner peace tat i have been searching for all this while.

I pray you will find yours.

Till then.

Salam'