.:: ... Nadya Camelia ... ::.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 @ 9:09 AM

Comments:

Thanx sweethrt i noe u hav been my bestfren...i appreciate it..
Thanx for d entry also..u makin me cry more...
Babe...i can only try to pull myself together wen i look at u..how strong u were and now dat u hav pull through everythin..

# posted by

EmilyArmelia : 12:49 PM

Kak nadya...pls..u making me cry. your today entry is extremely SEDIH..i cant take it anymore upon reading it.

I wish you all the best!!! May god bless you with love and care.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:03 PM

Post a Comment

My best fren is going thru a difficult time lately.

Its not easy to mend a broken heart huh?

I pretty much noe jus how much she is suffering now.

How i wish i could do something to help ease her pain,

If not,

Maybe i can do somethin to at least make her feel a bit better.

Sometimes i wonder,

Why must she go thru so much heartbreaks in life?

Why must someone as kind as her go thru so much hassle in life?

When i was in the car with Mr B the other nite,

I told him how heartbreaking it was to watch my best fren go thru so much in life.

N i felt realli bad at times,

When there's nothing much i can do to make her feel good.

Mr B told me that Allah is testing her, cos HE loves her.

Maybe after going thru so much in life,

HE will grant her with the best at the end of it.

I look at Mr B and gave him a smile.

A smile of appreciation.

Im realli lucky to have Mr B around me in times like this.

He cares for for my frens as much as i do.

N as you all noe,

My frens mean so much to me.

I love them to bits!

Seeing them going thru a difficult moment in life kills every bit of me.

Tats the very main reason why im kinda worried for my best fren currently.

She have been thru hell, im aware of that.

But each time she falls,

Im sure she is strong enuff to stand up and carry on in life once more.

Love hurts rite?

But at the same time,

It can give you all the happiness in the world as well.

So in another word,

Love is beautiful yet painful.

I used to be just like Emily.

I find it so hard to get over my past lover.

The thoughts of ending my life often lingers in my mind back then.

How stupid can i be!

How vulnerable was i back then!

Why must i end my life simply becos of a man?

In the first place,

Is it even worth sacrificing my life for someone like him?

To be very honest,

Watever i did back then created a big impact on my family.

Altho almost a year had passed by,

I still feel very remorseful over the whole issue.

I felt realli bad making my family, esp my mum having to worry abt me everyday.

There was this one day,

During Ramadhan last year,

I suddenly became hysterical, crying my hearts out.

I started wailing and went on an empty stomach for days.

I guess it was too much for my mum to witness tat day.

N that was the very first time in my whole life,

My mum slapped me real hard.

Yup, she did.

She slapped me and i was totally stunned.

My mum have never once laid fingers on me or my sisters.

But she did on me the other time.

I was stunned.

I stopped crying and look back at her in shock.

It was a wake up call i must say.

Cos after she slapped me tat nite,

She cried and slept beside me thru out.

From tat day onwards,

I realise just how much pain i have caused her.

She admitted that she had to tat,

To make me realise that i have suffered enuff for a man.

Its time i let go.

I did.

I think its time i stop being selfish.

Its time i stop hurting other people with my own actions.

Altho it was very hard initially,

But syukur alhamdulillah,

Allah loves me still.

I seek comfort in HIM.

I prayed humbly every nite before i go to bed,

Seeking HIM for forgiveness and show me back to the right path.

I gave up hope in dating.

I didnt wanna go out in search for a new love.

Cos at that time,

My heart only have his name on it.

I thought i could never be with any other man besides him.

But as i was penning my life story in this humble blog of mine,

I didnt noe i would be able to meet someone who wanna share the pain that im goin thru.

Mr B helped me regain my faith.

He was going thru a bad patch as well at that time.

So indirectly,

We both helped each other move on.

Nearly 7 months have passed by,

I must admit,

I do have memories of my past still sealed in my heart.

How can anyone ever forget someone whom you share almost 7 years of your life with rite?

Its almost impossible i noe.

But its definitely achievable.

I told myself to only remember the happy moments we shared.

Remember my ex bf as someone from the past tat ever make smile.

I have no regrets.

Realli i dun.

Cos knowing my ex bf was the best thing tat ever happen in this lifetime of mine.

But yet again,

Allah is great isnt HE?

Maybe HE noes that we both will be happier with other people instead.

Even when i heard so many thinsg being said abt me,

So many bad and awful things he may have spread around abt me,

This heart can never hate.

N it shall be that way as long as this heart still beats.

I am truly contented with what Allah have bless me with now.

I have been thru enuff.

Enuff is enuff for me rite now.

I wasted most of my life yearning for a man.

7 years to be exact,

N i have decided,

In this life,

I am supposed to make a huge sacrifice.

Thats by letting go.

N i finally did.

I have my ex bf and my others in my prayers always.

I pray for his happiness now and forever.

He deserve someone better,

Much better than me.

Thats all i hope for now.

Cos i will be lying if i claim that i have totally forgotten abt him.

Like i always say,

I have never forgotten my past.

Be it good or bad,

I have it sealed in my heart, till the last day of my life.

Dearest Emily,

It kills me seeing you suffer this much.

I noe how hard it was to let go of a man you love.

But trust me babe,

Things happen for a reason.

Allah will never let you go thru so much without a reason.

Insyallah the right man will come,

I am one perfect example.

Remember how torn and aimless i was back then babe?

You were the only one who stood by me, wiping my every tears.

But look at what Allah have bless me with now.

HE make you and me best frens,

HE bless me with wonderful lovelies,

HE make me cross path with Mr B,

HE even make me live happily with my family,finally.

Allah is great.

HE dun judge you from the color or your hair,

HE dun judge you from the clothes you wear,

HE dun judge you from the amount of money you have in your account.

HE judge you from wat that matters in your heart.

As long as you have faith,

As long as you still believe in HIS existance,

As long as you still thank him for HIS blessings,

Insyallah,

HE will never let you down.

Emily dearest,

Hold your head up high and carry on living.

The right man will come,

Maybe not now,

But he definitely will.

N when he comes,

He will share your pain,

He will fill your life with happiness,

He will hold your hand and bring you nearer to Allah,

He will take care of you for the rest of your life.

He will.

Please keep in mind that i love you always.

I will always be your fren,

Now, Forever & Always.

All i wish for is to see you smile once again.

N when the day comes,

I can finally say,

All my dreams have finally come true.

Till then.

Salam'