I have so much things to blog about,

But somehow i believe tat some things are better left unsaid.

Personal issues aside.

Today's entry will be a jumbled one.

So please,

Before you proceed,

Bear with me, will you?

So, i was chatting with Anna on MSN till late last nite and i suddenly felt her loss very much.

I miss that babe.

Very much indeed.

How i wish she is much nearer to me so that i could reach her anytime she's in need.

But nevertheless,

My prayers are with her always.

We love you babe.

Shikin, Reita and L.J will be awaiting for your return alrite dear?

Also, my many thanks to the gorgeous Ms Drubilee for sending me tons of pictures via msn last nite!

Thanks eh babe!

I didnt noe tat you took so many shots of us! Heh.

But, I shall just spare this 2 pics for your eyesore alrite lovelies?

I was complaining to Drubilee that i look horrible in most pictures!

Yeah man!

I feel so damn ugly just by looking at my pics!

I guess i will stop taking pictures for awhile untill i regain my self confidance again. Heh.

Seriously you noe,

I got so upset when i saw my pictures last nite and i started grumbling to Trisya.

So tat dear sister of mine had to bear with my ramblings i guess.

But tats the truth.

Have you ladies ever feel so damn ugly before?

Like the feeling suddenly come out of nowhere.

N oh,

Its not even PMS to start with.

I am in very healthy and stable condition.

And therefore i have no reasons to blame it on anything else tat can cause me such despair about myself.

Its not tat im insecure of myself or wat not.

But it seems tat i have issues with everything abt me.

Yeah, i have issues with myself.

How interesting.

First of all,

I think my foundation is too light for me and therefore i look very 'made up".

In a simpler term,

I look very FAKE.

I look like i had poster colors all over my face!

Yikes!

Then comes my hair.

Damn its rubbish now!

If you happen to ask me what hairstyle im carrying now,

I can never be able to asnwer that question!

Cos im clueless myself. *lol*

My hair is in a mess!

A trip to the saloon is what i realli need, very soon.

Ok wats next?

Oh yeah,

My weight.

My last scale check was 47kg.

N tat was 2 weeks ago.

I started feeling bloated lately and sumhow i feel like im double my size now!

Ok, i noe tats ridiculous.

But sure enuff,

I noe im starting to gain weight .

Altho people around me insist tat i look perfectly normal,

But i noe myself better rite?

Duh!

I feel heavy u noe!

I blame it on myself lah.

Asyik makan malam jer tau aku ni !!!

So ladies,

Im gonna try my very best to eat very little on our dates next time ya.

So please pardon me when i dun finish up my food.

Hmmm.. anything else?

I guess tats for all abt myself.

I dun wanna bore you people with things abt me which totally dun make sense.

I noe,

This entry have sumhow become aimless.

I am typing for the sake of typing.

N i stil am now.

Cos as im typing,

My heart is breaking as well.

Sri's latest entry is too much for me to absorb.

I hate it when people i love is hurting.

I hate it when Sri is facing situations like tat.

N i hate it when Sri can be that honest and make known to the 2000 over readers of hers tat she is only left with only $10.10 in her bank account!

I hate it even more when Sri just keep her miseries to herself and still text me lively good morning sms'es despite going thru so much!

I hate it even even more cos i love Sri so much tat its killing me inside!

Sri love,

I am here irregardless of anything.

Remember you once told me,

You would hold on to my hands and never let go?

I am holding on to yours as well.

I noe you very well.

Therefore i shall not ask or even text you anything as yet.

I'll wait till our next dinner date.

N you jolly well noe how to get me,

Dun you?

I guess the reasons for me not being able to write a proper entry is due to the fact tat i am pretty much disturbed.

Nope.

Nothing abt my life ( oh.. i feel physically ugly ! yes! )

Its when i noe tat people around me are suffering,

And there's nothing i can do abt it to help them ease the pain.

Sri, Anna and Emily are those very precious to me.

Things are not going well for you 3 now,

All i can do is pray tat Allah will help ease your pain and sufferings away.

Insyallah.

N like i say,

This entry is a jumbled one.

So if you sumhow got confused along the way.

I totally understand that.

Cos i am confused myself.

N do you noe why i am typing and typing and not doing werk like always?

Cos the boss is away on a business trip!!!

I am my own boss today.*lol*

Have a good day everyone.

Salam'