.:: ... Nadya Camelia ... ::.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 @ 5:00 PM

Comments:

Guess wat Nadya? I cried reading tis entry. I do still remember the days i was been dumped. Juz lyke u, i beg 4 mercy. Wen he left me, my world is totally in darkness & im glad i've moved on. Niwae take care luf... May happiness is on u!

Lotsa luf - Soul confession

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:50 AM

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I spent my time at home today,

Reading thru the list of emails i received from my readers out there.

Pardon me,

But i have yet reply to a handful.

I promise a reply at the soonest.

N just to let you people noe,

I read every single email sent to me.

I reply each and everyone with words that comes from my heart.

Those emails keep me going everyday.

You people are strangers that happen to stumble upon my entries,

Became my readers,

Relate to my words,

And somehow,

My circles of frens become larger each day.

I can never thank Allah for blessing me with all that i have now.

I blog for a reason.

Sure enuff,

I dun blog for popularity.

Cos i believe,

Blogging is not a medium for you to become famous.

When i first started blogging,

I just wanted to share with everyone the beautiful things of friendship and family.

My entries were solely abt my dinner dates,family outings,good food and yeah, my love life.

Then things become a little bit out of hand.

I admit i was involved in numerous blog wars before.

I was badly humiliated in some blogs.

And becos i didnt wanna admit defeat,

I retaliated.

Then the drama seemed endless.

I decided to put a stop to everything.

Cos i noe,

Somebody have to give in.

I did.

In order to stop feeling hurt over what other people wrote abt me,

I decided to stop reading their blogs.

N its been awhile i stop reading blogs that i noe will have on effect me.

I put a total stop to all that.

I read blogs that inspires me instead.

I read blogs that only say the good things.

I read blog with no sarcasm watsover.

I read blogs of people who were heartbroken and pray that they will make it thru in life.

From then on,

I decided that my blog entries will only consists of things that involve me.

Altho some of my entries were misinterpreted by certain parties out there,

All i got to say is that when i blog,

I try my best not to offend anyone in any way possible.

Each time when i receive emails from strangers out there,

It gave me a sense of satisfaction.

Knowing that they are some people out there who appreciate my writing.

My life have never been perfect.

I have been thru so much in life.

Lost so many things i treasure.

Life have never been a bed of roses for me.

All the hardships i went thru,

Definitely took a toll on me.

Life wasnt easy for me to be very honest.

Some things that i have lost can never be returned to me the same way as they were before.

Just like the day i lost the man i love.

I can never have him back even if i cry buckets every day.

The day i lost him,

I told myself,

My life must change from then on.

I remember begging him to stay.

I remember crying every single nite cos i thought i could never live without him.

I remember him slamming the phone and rejecting my calls.

I remember how desperate i may have reacted back then.

N you noe wat,

All that made me a stronger person.

Cos i told myself when i decided to shut all doors for him,

I will never look back ever again.

Period.

All i have now are memories we both share thru out the years we spent together.

All i wish for is his happiness.

N i believe,

To love is not to own.

I was bad and i got my punishment in return.

Allah is fair isnt HE?

HE made sure i paid the price for every wrong that i did.

I suffered.

I realli did.

The only way i let out all my miseries was thru blogging.

N i never expected my life would change thru blogging as well.

I am not putting myself on pedestral.

I dun blog and make myself look good to a thousand odd of you reading this.

Trust me,

I am not somebody that you people should be proud of.

All the happiness i have now,

It comes from Allah.

Cos i pray every single day,

Asking HIM to take all my miseries away and bless me with a tinge of happiness instead.

I guess Allah heard my prayers.

I guess HE is sick and tired of seeing me cry every nite in bed.

I guess HE gave me a chance to repent and to move on once more.

So here i am,

Trying to live life afresh with so many people to share my love with.

If you ask me,

Have i forgotten my past,

I would honestly say NO.

Cos without my past,

I wouldnt be what i am right now.

I am not claiming that my life is perfect at current.

No its not.

Nothing in life is perfect.

Therefore,

The little happiness that i have now,

Is all thanks to Allah and the people i have around me.

They make me see light and hopes in moving on again.

I blog for a reason.

I blog cos i wanna share.

I am not embarassed to say,

I used to be an ungrateful and aimless bitch.

But im glad Allah loves me still.

Im glad my family dun turn their backs on me.

Im glad i still have frens who stood by me.

Im glad that i am able to share my life with all.

Cos i hope,

Nobody will have to go thru wat i ever been thru.

In this life,

We make mistakes.

But lets all learn from it and move on.

I have been trying to be as simple as i can be.

I wanna live a normal life like everyone else.

N to think that my life was so dramatic back then,

I had enuff of crying buckets every single day.

Each time when i received emails claiming that my blog helped them in some way or another,

I felt so thankful that Allah managed to let me share my experience for others to learn from.

Once again,

In this holy month of Ramadhan,

I thank each and everyone of you.

To those who sent me emails and frenster messages with so much words of love,

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Never give up in life.

Have faith,

Believe in Allah,

Move on.

Cherish the memories of your past.

Free your heart from grudges.

Appreciate all the good things around you.

N if things dun turn out the way you always wanted it to be,

Then dun be dismayed.

Accept the fact and live on.

The world doesnt stop for your grief.

If i can make it till this far,

Im sure you all will be able to make it as well.

Dun hate.

Avoid jealousy.

Be happy for one another.

Spread love.

I am doing all that in life now.

I took my chance and meet up with as many people as i can.

I met up with strangers and became frens.

I share my life hoping to help others find happiness again.

N i hope,

My intention will not be judged otherwise.

Remember,

Your past will forever haunt you,

But it will not stop you from becoming a better person in time to come.

Insyallah.

Selamat berbuka puasa everyone.

Salam'